Conversation with me in 30 years

Me today: Hey, how’s it going?

Me in 30: What?

Me today: I said, hey, how’s it going?

Me in 30: I can’t understand a damn word you’re saying! Speak into my good ear you idiot.

Me today (beginning to get upset): ok…HOW’S IT GOING?

Me in 30: Jesus Christ kid! You don’t have to yell! To answer your question, I’m ok. But my back has been killing me the past few days. Why don’t you be a good boy and get me a beer from the fridge.

Me today (I come back to the living room and pass him the bottle of beer): Here you go.

Me in 30: What the hell do you think you’re doing? Did I say that you could get one for yourself???

Me today (stunned): I thought I…I didn’t think it…I’ll go put it back.

Me in 30 (laughing): Relax kid. It’s not a problem. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I like to joke around. Now pull up a seat and tell me about life. What’s new and exciting in your world?

Me today: Well, I’m just about to graduate with my public relations degree. I’m pretty excited about moving out into the working world.

Me in 30: oh yeah, so what’s the plan after you’re done?

Me today: Not sure yet, I think I’m going to relax for the summer and work part-time. I’ll worry about finding a job for September. How about yourself? What is new and exciting in your world?

Me in 30: Kid, when you get to be my age, the most exciting thing that can happen is that my Habs win the Stanley Cup. It’s been 40 years since they won! These damn players today. They’re a bunch of million dollar babies. They don’t care about wearing the Montreal Canadiens jersey. They don’t care about the tradition. They…

Me today: I’ve obviously struck a nerve. Let’s change the subject.

Me in 30: Sorry if I’ve seemed a little cranky with you. You see, the house just hasn’t been the same without the wife and kids. My wife has been away visiting her family for the past month, while the kids are both off away at university. I’ve been living on Kraft Dinner and hot dogs lately and my kids don’t have the decency to return phone calls. I certainly hope that you don’t end up like this.

Me today: Come on now, it can’t be all that bad.

Me in 30: Actually, I couldn’t be happier with the way things have worked out. I’ve been happily married to an amazing woman for the past 20 years. We met on a resort in Cuba and hit it off right away. Within six months we were married. Crazy. We have two beautiful kids. They got their looks from the wife—Thank god (laughing). The boy is in trade school in Alberta. He wants to be a plumber. My girl is studying to be a dentist in Ontario. Putting the two of them through school is costing me a fortune, but it’s well worth it. Plus, the wife and I have plenty of money, since we hit the jackpot five years ago. We won $20 million playing Lotto 6/49. It sure was nice for both of us to be able to retire in our early 50’s.

Me today: Wow, what an amazing story. I can only be so lucky to have things turn out this way for me. Well, I’ve got to head out. I have a job interview in an hour. It’s been great chatting with you.

Me in 30: Likewise. Good luck with the job interview and with your future endeavors. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you.

Me today: Thanks. Ciao.